Permission to Feel: An Exquisite Gift
Written by Martina Hughes
As I write this, I am feeling delicious openness in my body and spaciousness in my heart.
It feels delightful to rest into this moment and enjoy the tingles and sensations moving through my body.
One week ago today, I was resting gently with great tenderness, feeling strong vulnerability and sensitivity at the surface of my body. I had spent much of the morning processing and releasing sadness, anger, confusion and shame.
You might say what happened to cause this? What happened to have me feel this way?
My response is, being human!
Creating space for my inner world can be extremely challenging, but so rewarding and life changing.
I have spent many years avoiding my feelings - and that can still happen now. And I have spent many years drowning in my feelings, unable to get my head above water due to the forceful torrent of emotion alive in my body.
Neither of these pathways have supported me.
What has been most beneficial is learning to journey with my feelings, to allow curiosity to permeate my experience, allowing the feelings to take me on a journey.
I do not need to know where they’re taking me, nor look for a reason for them to be there.
Finding reasons for our feelings often creates a story, can lead to blaming another and allows no space to find the beauty that exists in allowing ourselves to be shown what is happening in our bodies and lives.
My experience is that life offers more, much more, than what I know or can become aware of on my own.
How do we do this?
• Simply be curious about the feelings
• Notice the corresponding sensations that arise in the body
• Allow space for how those sensations need to be felt
• Give the feelings full permission for expression and movement
When I can hold myself in that space of allowing the flow of feelings - without attaching to a reason or cause for it being so, something so delicious arises.
All that is required is simply allowing.
There are other times when my internal resistance is high, and I need the support of my partner to hold me in that space - to bring his presence, depth and love to the process so I can access emotions and feelings that may have been long buried.
Past unprocessed emotion is stored in the body; anything not fully felt will always rise to be felt.
This sometimes requires some extra attention to come to the surface. Therefore, it’s so important to not look outwards for situations or people to project onto or blame, despite the possibility it may be true, there is always more to it, instead just follow the feelings and trust they’ll take you where you need to go.
In recognising the feelings and emotions pressing in my body, I can ask my partner to hold space for me, so that they can be moved through the body more gracefully.
If I miss the moment in recognising my feelings, then my mind will start to look for reasons and start blaming others.
This leads to chaos and destruction, and further avoiding my feelings and missing the gifts they offer.
The journey with feelings has taken a lifetime of learning, to know that they are simply feelings, and all they need is to be felt and experienced in the body.
When we can strip away the judgment of our feelings, and simply allow them to be present, they move incredibly fast.
Being resistant to or fearful of our feelings is what makes feelings hang around much longer than necessary.
Trying to make them go away seems to amplify them, as the energy can take a stronger hold when denial or avoidance is present.
Day by day, allowing and accepting our feelings makes the human journey so much more graceful.
With Love, Martina
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