Initially, I felt myself wanting to fight and struggle against the imposed restrictions - wanting to hold onto live events and retreats, wanting to find some magical loophole so that things could go ahead.
But as the shock wore off, reality set in, and then came disappointment as I cancelled a variety of events through March and April 2020. Eventually, all of our live events for 2020 were cancelled.
I felt devastated as our trip to the US in May was cancelled (including our wedding plans for Hawaii). It hurt to let go of these experiences, and to know that there was no option or choice only magnified the pain.
I am sure that many of you have had your own experiences of this, choices being taken away, border restrictions, job losses and lockdowns globally?
My bank account was certainly in a state of shock as I processed refunds for retreats scheduled from March right through to August 2020.
I noticed I was processing the disappointment of my clients and students too, as I held the space and responsibility for canceling events that they had been looking forward to for months. Opportunities for their transformation disappearing before their eyes.
Once the events were cancelled though, I discovered a new rhythm and flow of being at home in the days with Rod. Going for early walks, doing my morning practice, participating in online yoga classes, working with clients online, making up silly/fun games to play with the cats and spending quality time with Rod.
Our lives felt more in flow and more aligned.
There was a sense of spaciousness, less pressure and demand on my time, and a whole lot more room to simply be!
In the midst of our Victorian Winter (for those who do not live in Victoria it was really long), Rod said to me, “We could be anywhere in the world right now, do we really want to be living in Victoria?”
I paused in that moment as I felt into his question.
The first thing I noticed was yes, he is right. All the scheduled events had been transitioned to online events. My body relaxed and opened up, there was some excitement in me at the possibilities this might bring.
We actually could live anywhere. Our work was no longer location-dependent!
Neither of us had to be in any particular location. Yes, this was exciting, we could live anywhere - within Australia (as international borders were closed).
With some excitement and nervousness, our search began. NSW, particularly the South Coast, had been on our radar for a while, and I was also curious about South Australia, and Rod was entertaining the idea of Queensland.
For me, South Australia offered the opportunity to be near the cultural hub that is Adelaide, as well as warm weather, being near the ocean and affordable prices. We found some stunning houses that we drooled over online in the Victor Harbour area.
Rod discovered that Queensland had some amazingly well priced houses with pools and of course, the brilliant and more consistent sunshine.
Overall, though, I felt nervous. We were in the midst of the Victorian lockdown, we couldn’t travel to see any of these places. We had never been to most of the places that we were looking at.
We were relying on what we saw online or what we heard from family and friends.
Would it really be possible to buy a house online without seeing it? Were we ready to sell our house? Our house that was owned outright, no mortgage, to move somewhere that we didn’t even know if we liked.
So much vulnerability and living in the unknown! Covid-19 had already plunged most of us into a significant time of unknown. And here we were taking that even further.