I heard Rod sharing these words with a man recently. I felt deeply touched. And I wanted to share this with all of you, because I know what a difference it can make.
“It’s important to love her exactly as she is, without needing her to change. Practice patience.
Deepen your breath around her, move and speak slower than her. It’s important not to make her wrong, allow space for her. It will take time for her to unravel the years and pain that life can bring. And if there is trauma present she may need more or different support.
Keep loving her, keep going, this road is not easy.”
The dance of polarity is not everything in a relationship. Yet in order for sexual intimacy to exist, it’s important to know how to activate polarity.
When working with men, Rod is supporting them to bring more masculine qualities. As it is these masculine qualities of presence, consciousness and depth that a woman is often longing for, even without knowing she is longing for it.
At first when a man brings more presence, he will often be met with resistance. If a woman has been holding herself and holding her own masculine for a long time, It can be challenging to fall into the space he is offering her.
I remember this in my relationship with Rod, when he would be offering suggestions to support me, and I would say no or push away what he was offering. I wanted to be able to lean in, but all my fears of abandonment were butting up against my longing and desire to surrender.
My protection and my longing were in conflict. I was holding myself back from fully trusting him with my feelings.
But how could I know whether he could be trusted with my feelings, if I didn’t reveal my feelings to him?
At some point, I discovered that revealing my feelings to him - as excruciating as it was – was a game changer. I felt more seen (exactly what I was longing for) and he felt more trusted. ( this evoked more love and more presence in him).
I know that Rod brought a lot of patience and compassion to me in this process. I also know that at times I fully tested him, and pressed him up against his own walls.
Fortunately, we were both willing to keep growing and evolving. We chose to consciously move through our own layers of protection, breaking down our defenses and walls together.
When a man can bring loving presence to a woman and support her to open, so much blossoms for both of them. The love and gratitude that arises from being seen, and feeling trusted means that both the woman and the man have so much more to give each other.