The search for love has consumed a lot of time and energy in my life. Crying over the lack of an intimate relationship. Feeling heartbroken when I perceived my feelings and desires were not met or received.
I often imagined that there was something I could experience in a relationship that would bring the fulfillment I was looking for.
Then when I was in a relationship, I often felt disappointed and frustrated, it felt like my needs and feelings were still unmet.
Feeling that if only a man reciprocated my romantic feelings in the way that I wanted (even though I have no idea what that is or was), did something different, stopped doing xyz, said something different, my longing for love would be satiated.
All of this created so much pressure and expectation in connecting with men.
A part of me demanding that they fill the insatiable longing within me.
All this began to turn around when I became aware that love lives and moves within and through me. It’s always been there, I just didn’t know how to see it, feel it or connect with it. We are just not taught HOW!.
Love is so many things, a state of being, a way of living, a variety of feelings and experiences emerging as love. Primarily though love is a Verb, a doing word, it requires action. For love to move through me, be apart of my life I have to be Love.
In order to experience love as a state of being, I need to choose it.
Every. Single. Day!
Over and Over Again!
The more I have learnt to love and nourish myself, to fill myself up with love, the more that my life flows. The more that others respond to that state of love within me.
The most potent form of self-love and nourishment in my life is my daily practice.
Each day, I take an hour to be with myself - first thing in the morning. My daily practice has changed my life more than any other thing I have ever experienced.
Getting up in the morning and making my way to my cushions is love in action. It’s a way of being the best version of me.
Experiencing deep and embodied self-love is a direct result of my daily practice. There is a knowing that I choose to live in a state of love.
One of the amazing gifts that has blossomed from this embodied experience of love, is the deep and potent love that I share with Rod in our intimate relationship.