Relationship & Dating Tips

FREE Video Series

Are You Bringing Your Penis Into The Room? How To Become A Fully Alive Sexual Man

Video One
:: 2.25 minutes ::

Martina Hughes discusses a big concern for men - giving yourself permission to be sexual, to include your penis in the room. Many men castrate themselves in order to appear “safe” or to “be the nice guy” but then wonder why women don’t see them as sexually attractive. You need to give a woman something to respond to - bringing your penis into the room and being a sexual man is your responsibility.


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message) Are you bringing your penis into the room? Now I know you might be laughing like I am because for men, of course you are taking your penis wherever you go, but there’s a difference between whether you are truly showing up with your penis intact. And what I mean by that, I talk about this a lot in the men’s groups, so what I mean by that is are you including your sexual self in the room? Quite often what I see is men fall into the trap of being the nice guy, being the good guy, being the one that women talk to, open their hearts with, share all their problems, ask to go shopping with, and those men are going, why doesn’t she see me sexually, why doesn’t she desire me, why is she not attracted to me? It’s because you forgot to bring your penis into the room! What this mean is that you castrate yourself, you show up as a safe man, you show up as somebody who has no desires, you send your desires underground, so there’s nothing, absolutely nothing for woman to respond to. Bringing your penis into the room doesn’t mean that you jump on her for sex, but you let your desire be felt in your body. It’s your desire, it’s your body, it’s your sex, it’s your penis. So let that be there, such that when you touch a woman, your hand might tingle with desire, might activate a tingle of desire in her body, and when she feels your desire, when she feels your sexual charge, that’s what lights her up, that’s what activates her, that’s what makes her consider a sexual relationship with you. So from her on in I really encourage you to bring your penis into the room, to show up in the fullness of man that you are. And if you’d like to learn more about how to do that, please visit where there are more videos, articles and events to support you on this journey. Thank you.

Why You Must Know The Difference Between Sexual Energy And Sex

Video Two
:: 2.41 minutes ::

I am excited to release the 2nd video in the series.. all about the difference between sexual energy and sex! I would love for you to watch, enjoy and share with friends. This can be a big area of misunderstanding in the field of tantra. Opening up to sexual energy can lead to more sex, but it doesn’t automatically mean that .. and sexual energy is essential for your vitality!


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

In Tantric spaces we often talk about sexual energy which I know can be confused with the act of sex. So I wanted to clear up today, what’s the difference between sexual energy and the act of sex, because they are two very different experiences.

Of course we know the act of sex is an act that we do with ourselves, it can be any form of self pleasure, masturbation, enjoyment, heightened sexual stimulation in the body.

Then of course there’s sex that we enjoy with another which can come in a million different flavours and is way beyond the scope of this particular video, but use your imagination right here.

And then sexual energy, so what is it if it’s not the act of sex, what is it?

Well of course the act of sex includes sexual energy, it’s impossible to have the act of sex without sexual energy but sexual energy itself is the animation, the life force, the spark that arises from inside of each of our bodies. Sexual energy is something that we are born with and that fuels our feelings, our emotions, our expression, how we move in the world, how we live our passions, our desires. So sexual energy can be alive when I’m painting a picture and choosing all the most beautiful colours that enliven me. Sexual energy can be alive when I walk outside and feel the sun or the wind against my skin. Sexual energy can be alive as I share a beautiful tender heartfelt communication, and of course it’s alive when I make love and go to those deep places of union and intimacy.

So simply to summarise, sexual energy, it’s animation, it’s life force, it’s the thing that creates the buzz, the fuel, the energy, that wakes us up from the inside out.

So maybe you would like to start owning your sexual energy more fully. Maybe there are places where you can inhabit a deeper expression of you in your sexual energy.

If you’d like to lean more, come over to where you can read some more of our resources, watch some more videos, and check out our workshop schedule. Thank you.

Begging For Love - Transform The Quality Of Love You Desire

Video Three
:: 2.30 minutes ::

This is the 3rd video in the series of Love, Sex and Intimacy topics. I love this topic - and it’s something I often share about in the workshops and retreats - how to transform the quality of love you desire into something more. And now you can learn about it right here..


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

Many people are behaving like beggars when it comes to love, and not experiencing the quality of love that they desire in their lives.

So today I’m going to talk to you about how you can transform from the inside to experience the quality of love that you desire.

For all of us, women and men, love is on the inside. Sex, sexual energy, is on the inside. But we are often brought up with this idea that love and sex live on the outside, that love and sex is in the man over there, or love and sex is in the woman over there. So then we spend a lot of time chasing love and sex, trying to get it outside.

However, what if you truly embraced this principle that your love lives inside of your heart? Your sex lives inside of your sexual centre. When we can truly embrace love from here (gestures to heart) and sex from here (gestures to genitals), instead of walking around begging for love and sex on the outside, when we feel it in our own heart, in our own sex centre, then the sharing of love and sex is a joy, it’s a gift, it’s a celebration, we can meet another from a place of – I want to share my love and sex with you – rather than I need to get it from you. So it’s much more fulfilling, much more relaxing and brings that higher quality of contentment, love, nourishment and a deeper union that men and women desire and long for.

So if there is one thing for you to remember from today, it’s that you are your own source of love and sex. You are the source of love and sex for yourself, for your fulfilment.

If you’d like to learn more about this, head over to where there’s a whole lot more resources about what we have to offer. Thank you.

Women: How To Awaken Your Full Sexual Potential And Power

Video Four
:: 2.30 minutes ::

This is the 4th video in our Sex, Love and Intimacy series.. essential viewing for women who want to own their sexual potential and power. Being afraid of our sexual potential or flaunting our sexuality often bring the very effect that we are attempting to avoid.. learn how to walk the middle road, owning and being comfortable in your beautiful feminine body.

Please watch, enjoy and share with your friends.


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

In your journey of womanhood, are you experiencing yourself withheld sexually?

Now this is something that I often speak with women, about how we come into owning our full sexual expression as women, how we own who we are as sexual beings. Now often we withhold sexually because we are afraid of people taking advantage of us, or possibly afraid that somebody will get the wrong impression, afraid of being too much for people. What I know though, is that when we come into true alignment with ourselves as sexual beings, when woman says yes to herself, when she says yes to the power of her sexual energy from within, she doesn’t attract the unwanted attention, in actual fact she becomes a powerhouse within herself and from that place she earns respect.

So instead of being this woman who walks down the street withheld and contracted and hiding herself sexually and maybe rugging up to the chin, instead of being this woman that’s withheld, or this woman who flaunts and is brazen and puts her energy out there, what if you could find the middle road. The balance where the sexual energy, the sexual power that is your life force, that is your feminine essence, if you could inhabit that fully. If you could say yes to it, and trust that what’s reflected on the outside will be a reflection of you owning your beautiful self. And you will attract lovingness, trust and respect into your space.

So next time you are walking down the street and you are tempted to hide, take a deep breath, and let the fullness of you as a woman shine through, and that place is where you earn respect and admiration of men.

If you want to learn more about how to take this journey, come and visit where we can support you further with workshops, events, private sessions.

Thank you.

Dating Must Have - A New, Healthy Perspective On Rejection For Men

Video Five
:: 2.43 minutes ::

Video number 5 in the series on Sex, Love and Intimacy. It’s a new and healthy perspective on rejection for men. This is a phenomena that I have witnessed in men in a variety of ways over the years (and when men hear it come out of my mouth, they feel the truth and see their own behaviour being revealed).. watch to learn more and how men can turn around the stories and experiences of rejection.

Watch, enjoy and share these videos so that many others can benefit from turning their perspective around!


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

Men, I want to talk with you about rejection from a different angle. I know rejection is a really sore point and it’s tricky for many of us, and I know there’s a lot of communication and work out there for men addressing rejection.

However, one thing I’ve noticed as a woman is that men, you are rejecting yourself, long before you even give me, or other women, the opportunity to say yes or no to you. Now what do I even mean by this? Think of all the times that you are attracted to that woman across the other side of the room, or something inside of you lit up when she walked by you, and you wanted to say something, you wanted to approach her, but you didn’t. That is you rejecting yourself. Every time you feel that impulse to approach, to offer a compliment, to extend an invitation and you don’t, you are rejecting yourself. I know from conversations with men in my life, the number of times that men have wanted to invite me somewhere or wanted to extend a compliment, but they’ve stopped themselves short of doing that. Which has actually denied me an opportunity and denied them an opportunity.

So think about this, next time that impulse arises in your belly, in your groin, in your chest, and you want to approach her, give her the chance to say yes or no. Let the yes or no come from her rather than from inside your own head. And what’s the worst thing that could happen, she says no, and you have an opportunity to pat yourself on the back and say, I took a chance. You took a chance, that in itself is gold and there’s learning, there’s feedback, there’s opportunity for you in taking the chance.

So if you’d like to take some more chances and maybe learn what a Tantric journey can offer you, come over to where you can read some of our articles there, watch some more videos, and learn about our workshop offerings.

Thank you.

Women: Are You Putting Too Much Pressure On Men? How This Could Be Limiting Your Relationship

Video Six
:: 2.57 minutes ::

Video number 6 in our Love, Sex and Intimacy series.. These are snippets of wisdom from our workshops and retreats that I have distilled into videos. Please enjoy and share to make a difference in the way we live and love in today’s world.

In this one, I discuss how women inadvertently place pressure on men in relationship. Learn more about the impact this has and how you can make changes to turn your relationship around.


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

Women, I have some insights for you about your relationships with men. These insights are gathered from many years of working with men. And one thing that’s really important for us to understand and that has certainly changed my experience of how I relate with men, is to understand and appreciate how much pressure men feel from us.

Now I’m not sure if this is news to you or not, however men have an innate desire to please us. Men have an innate desire to see the woman in their lives happy. And so often, they will do whatever it takes to make us happy – and this can often be at their own cost, and then that, when they sacrifice themselves to make us happy, is where the downward spiral in relationship starts.

So I have some questions for you to consider. What pressure do you inadvertently place on men? What expectations do you have of the man in your life, to behave a certain way? Maybe to read your mind, maybe to communicate in a particular way, maybe to make love to you in a particular way. But have you ever considered how you communicate that with him? How you meet him in a way that is not increasing the pressure on him? If you can start to meet him from a different place, to address your own agenda, to address your own expectations, and move in to a different quality of heartfelt communication? Trust that the man in your life wants to support you, he wants to see you happy – however there is a way of being with him more from your own softness, from a different place of heartfelt communication that will invite him to step in with you.

So if you would like to extend this invitation to the man in your life, the same as I’m extending the invitation to you, come on over to where we have a whole lot more articles on these and other related topics, and we also have some workshop offerings and other resources available to support you in this journey so that you can have the quality of relationship that you desire.

Thank you.

Men: Are Women Losing Attraction To You Because You’re Compromising Too Much?

Video Seven
:: 3.09 minutes ::

Video number 7 in our Sex, Love and Intimacy series.. another one for the men out there.. find out why women lose attraction to you when you compromise too much… or hand your balls over on a plate! 

Watch, enjoy, share with your friends… and MEN remember you are SOOOOO attractive when you stay aligned with yourself!


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

This video is for the men. So my question today is, are you handing your balls over on a plate?

Now, I know it’s a bit of a cringey topic, and you might not want to admit that it’s going on in your relationship, but let me give you an example. The man who has his whole week planned out, he knows what he needs to do to take care of himself, to stay on track and to support his relationship, and he’s got a plan to make all of that happen. And then his partner goes, “oh I need you to do this thing for me honey”, and all of a sudden it’s really important to her and feels like the world is going to fall apart if he doesn’t fit in that one extra thing for her. And so the man starts adapting his schedule, changing his week, compromising himself so that instead of being this man who is upright, in alignment with himself, on track, he becomes this man (hunched over in posture). Essentially he’s trying to hold onto his balls, he’s trying to keep it all together, but it’s too late, they are gone, because he gave over to her desires.

In fact, he put her desires ahead of his own. Now often times when men do that, it’s a desire to please woman, thinking that it will lead to more love, more affection, more sex, more intimacy. And here is the really sad part. When you do that, you lose self respect and the woman loses respect for you. So you actually end up with less love, affection, sex, intimacy. Now this doesn’t mean saying no to her all the time, but trusting whether your yes or your no to your partner’s desires are in alignment with you. If your yes to your partner is also a yes to you, it’s a win win, and self respect, respect from her is maintained. But if your yes to her is a no to yourself, then self respect is down, her respect for you is down and there’s less of what you desire in your life.

This is a really common problem that I see with men and there are some really simple solutions to keep your balls intact, keep your spine straight and stay on track for your life and have a loving healthy, supportive relationship.

So come over to where you can read some of our articles, watch some more videos, check out our workshop offerings, and be supported to have the life you deserve and desire.

The #1 Thing That Attracts Men To Women - You Can’t Afford To Miss This!

Video Eight
:: 3.21 minutes ::

Excited to be sharing video number 8 in the Sex, Love and Intimacy series. These videos have been very well received in our community and are a great way of sharing bite size pieces of wisdom that are normally only shared in our workshops and retreats.

This is for women.. what is the #1 thing that attracts men to women.. watch, enjoy and share with your friends.


(transcribed and edited from Martina’s spoken video message)

Attraction is a big topic for women and men and right now I want to speak specifically to women about attraction. This is something that I’ve been exploring in our mixed groups recently, seeing how and what it is that creates attraction in the men, for the women in the room. And there’s been one experience above anything else that has men respond most favourably towards women.

So I want to share with you what that experience is today, but before sharing that experience with you, I’ll give some background as to why this topic arises. It’s often the case that we try and be somebody other than ourselves. We think that we have to be this stereotypical idea of flirty or this other stereotypical idea of intelligent and capable, or whatever masks and personas we’ve taken on that are often outside of ourselves.

So what I did in the group was actually have women embody a state of fully being in their heart and their love, and the men enjoyed it, and there was a favourable response. The second one was having women embody being really, really sexy and sensual and tapping into that desire, again the men loved it, still not the most effective.

When women came inside, truly into her own core, felt her heart, felt her sex, felt whatever amount of those energies were active for her, in that moment, not based on my instruction, based on what her body was supporting her to be alive with, then that, that was the time when I experienced the men, high, totally drunk on women. The men were almost speechless because then they fell into this hypnotic enchanted state of relaxation because they were in the presence of full, vibrant, juicy alive, feminine, and of course what full juicy alive, vibrant feminine looks like in every woman is different. How it is for me is different for you, it’s different for each and every one, but being in a state of naturalness, with my love, my sex, same for you, that’s the thing that men are attracted to. Us in our naturalness.

And this is a beautiful journey, coming home to our naturalness as women is such a gift to ourselves and the men in our lives.

So come and join us for this journey. Visit us at where you can learn a whole lot more through our resources, videos, articles and workshop offerings. Thank you.

Continue to the Intimacy Series

Discover the Potency of Real Connection in Love, Intimacy & Sex


Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips
Relationship & Dating Tips