What is Healthy Sexuality?

Written by Martina Hughes

Our world today is desperately in need of healthy sexuality.

It is critical to the wellbeing of everyone.

Healthy sexuality includes space to discuss what sex feels like, how to self-pleasure, the value of being connected to our own bodies and how to know when a connection with someone is a real match.

Living with healthy sexuality means creating a world where children grow up knowing the value of their own bodies, where they are taught that pleasure and sensation and sexual energy are beautiful aspects of life to be treasured and embodied.

In a sexually healthy world, sexuality would be acknowledged as an essential part of our human nature.

Desires and arousal would be embraced, rather than shamed and judged.

Healthy sexuality includes sharing with children (at an appropriate age), that when sex is experienced in a connection of authentic resonance, it allows our hearts to open and expand, creates a buzz through our bodies and uplifts our spirit.

Whereas sex with someone who is not a good match will create confusion, isolation, pain and shutting down, physically and emotionally.

There needs to be acceptance that at some time, we will all make some healthy choices and some not so healthy choices.

There needs to be space to acknowledge that we will sometimes have sex with the “wrong person” and that will be part of our learning and understanding of our bodies and lives. And there is no reason to feel shame for that.

The exploration of sex is a crucial part of our development as whole-bodied, integrated human beings.

We need to talk openly about the importance of sexual exploration and expression. 
Doing this will support children, teens and ourselves to explore sex without hiding.

It is in the exploration of sex and relating that we can discover what feels right for us, and what doesn’t.

Sex begins with sexual energy within our own bodies. 

The connection to our own bodies needs to be the starting point for sex, it needs to be prioritised.

When we understand the power of cultivating energy from within, then the quality of choices we make about sex changes.

When we are connected to our bodies and can feel the quiet pulse of life, of energy, of drive that moves inside of us.. then the wisdom of our bodies comes alive.

That body wisdom becomes a compass through which a girl or boy, man or woman, knows and feels who and what is aligned with their inner being and what is not.

Healthy sexuality begins on the inside, it’s an individual journey. But if we are to change the experience of sex in our culture it needs to be acknowledged as a shared and cultural journey.

Each person embodying healthy sexuality contributes to the tapestry of a healthy culture.

With Love,  Martina

What Age Is Too Soon? Teen Girls & “The Conversation”

Often waiting until the teen is ready, means that the conversation doesn’t happen until after the teenager is already sexually active.

Getting Clear About Consent With Teens

Our teenagers need healthy and supportive spaces to understand consent, beyond just saying yes or no. 

Shame Is Never The Answer 

Imagine having conversations with teenage boys where they are not demonised for their sexuality or gender? We would create more loving, sensitive and aware young men.