The Vulnerability of Being Seen
Written by Martina Hughes
It’s common for me to oscillate between wanting to be seen and wanting to hide.
A desire to be noticed in all my beauty, love, sensuality and pleasure.
The incredible vulnerability of being fully seen can also activate my desire to hide.
Being fully seen in an intimate relationship can be incredibly liberating and expansive. This desire sits close to the heart of many women I know and work with.
It can feel terrifying to share the parts of ourselves that have felt so private and locked away, so we often use the excuse of waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect experience with the perfect partner.
This inevitably leads to never fully revealing ourselves and not being seen, as there is nothing being shown for anyone to see.
Not being seen, leads to resentment.
It’s only in the revealing of ourselves that we can be seen.
It’s only when we find the courage to show what we feel most deeply that inspires another to witness or want to really see us.
Being fully seen requires consistent leaning in - step by step - leaning into trust, then trusting, trusting, and revealing a little more in each moment.
And it really needs to be step by step. Our nervous systems become overwhelmed with too much fear. It’s important to let the revealing be gradual, little by little, breath by breath, so we can open to a new way of being; a new life.
A very different life to what our culture has offered us.
It is in the revealing - not assessing ourselves and not assessing the other - simply being with the feelings, showing them through our bodies and allowing the revealing to unfold in our bodies, that is what inspires the other person to presence and to truly see us.
To witness the story of our feelings as they unfold.
With Love, Martina
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